funny jokes and humor online joke humorous jokes and gags
 
 
Holiday jokes (6)
Animal jokes (25)
April fool jokes (0)
Bar jokes (120)
Blonde jokes (89)
Bumper stickers (7)
Classic jokes (3)
Computer jokes (29)
Farmers (6)
Food jokes (2)
Gender (86)
Insults (20)
Kids jokes (34)
Knock knock jokes (1)
Lawyer jokes (31)
Medical jokes (21)
Miscellaneous jokes (9)
Myspace jokes (2)
One liners (7)
Parent jokes (1)
Political jokes (2)
Practical jokes (2)
Redneck (82)
Sports jokes (1)
Top ten jokes (11)
Work jokes (31)
Yo mama jokes (35)

Picture/Video Links!
President of China
Not Too Peeky
Perfect Bar
Money Illusion
Pole In Apartment
Camera In The Park
Category: Holiday jokes
Reader Rating: 3.00
Contributor: n/a

Add This Joke To: Del.ici.us


Twas the Month after Chanukah...
'Twas the Month after Chanukah

Twas the month after Chanukah, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibble, the latkas I'd taste
At Chanukah parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine or the egg creams, the bread and the cheese
and the way I'd never said, ''No thank you, please.''
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as only I can
''You can't spend the winter disguised as a man!''
So... away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of all chocolate, each cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
''Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want to chew only a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!



Rate this joke


Hilarious

Good

Average

Poor

Nasty



Email this joke to a friend
Your email address:
Your friends address:
Recieve joke in your email.