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Category: Redneck
Reader Rating: 4.67
Contributor: RoseGoddess

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Things Rednecks Will Never Say

# I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
# Duct tape won't fix that.
# Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
# Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
# We don't keep firearms in this house.
# Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
# You can't feed that to the dog.
# I thought Graceland was tacky.
# No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
# Wrestling's fake.
# Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
# We're vegetarians.
# Do you think my gut is too big?
# I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
# Honey, we don't need another dog.
# Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?
# Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
# Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
# Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
# I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
# Checkmate.
# She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
# Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
# Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
# I don't have a favorite college team.
# Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
# You ALL.
# Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
# Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.

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