| Category:
Redneck
Reader Rating:
4.33
Contributor:
RoseGoddess
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Add This Joke To: Del.ici.us
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You might be a Redneck Jedi if ....
ou Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
* . . . you use your lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer.
* . . . you say "these are not the beers you are looking for."
* . . . that "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.
* . . . the inside of your house looks more like Dagobah than the outside.
* . . . you call your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
* . . . you have ever used telekinesis to pull your jeans up.
* . . . the Force isn't the only thing that runs in your family.
* . . . you call Hank Williams Jr. "master".
* . . . your landspeeder has a gun rack.
* . . . you meditate to old CCR records.
* . . . you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.
* . . . you have ever said, "Anger...Fear...Aggression...Yankees...the dark side are they."
* . . . your X-Wing has a still in it.
* . . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base.
* . . . there is more oil in your robes than in your astromech droid.
* . . . your robes have the Golden Flour label on them.
* . . . you trim your beard and find a Mylock.
* . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.
* . . . you use Jawas for a drink holders.
* . . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.
* . . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck.
* . . . you use your Jedi healing powers to clear up your V.D.
* . . . you think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
* . . . you ever lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.
* . . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
* . . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
* . . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* . . . you can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
* . . . you think Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
* . . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.
* . . . your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
* . . . you have ever had your R2 unit use its arc welding torch to get the barbecue grill to light.
* . . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.
* . . . you beat the Gammorean Guard in an "ugly" contest.
* . . . your father's name is Garth Vader.
* . . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.
* . . . you have ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin' at your sister.
* . . . you constantly mistake R2 units for beer kegs.
* . . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power.
* . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.
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