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Category: Redneck
Reader Rating: 2.80
Contributor: RoseGoddess

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A Redneck Computer Geek

# You might be a redneck addicted to the world of computers if.......
# If yer computer stand is made of a stack of old tires or 2 x 8's and cinderblocks.
# Ya think www. in a url is a logo for a wrestlin' organization.
# Someone tells ya they're "locked up" and ya ask if they need bail money.
# Ya've ever been too drunk to chat.
# Yer screen saver is a confederate flag and plays dixie.
# Ya think a harddrive is a trip to Uncle Bubba's.
# Yer mouse keeps knocking over yer spitcan.
# Ya think a surge supressor is a pill for diarrhea.
# Ya keep trying to figure out why yer scanner won't pick up police radio calls.
# Ya think a megabyte is a new sandwich at McDonalds.
# Ya have to ask someone how to spell LOL.
# Yer stomach overlaps half of yer keyboard.
# Ya try to figure out how to get yer empty beer cans into the recyclin' bin.
# Ya try to turn on yer computer with the remote.
# Ya try to figure out how yer floppy disk got hard.
# Ya play frisbee with yer CD Rom's.
# Ya find yerself on the floor looking into yer "A Drive" yelling 'Give it back! Give it Back'.
# When birds fly across yer screen an ya reach for yer shotgun.
# Ya put a mousetrap on yer desk. Yer yards full of ol' computers stacked on cinder blocks.
# Ya use yer CD-ROM drive as a beer holder.
# Ya call tech support an ask where ta buy stamps fer yer e-mail.
# When ya tern yer computer on ya say, "Come OOOOOOON Betsy."
# Ya think system wizard is a dude in a funny hat.
# Ya think 64 M RAM is a nu big block engine fer yer pickup.
# Ya think ICQ is how smert yer computer is.
# Someone tellz ya yer computer has a bug an ya reach for the can of Raid.
# Ya think a mouse pad iz where Mighty Mouse and his cousins hang.
# Ya go buy a surfboard to surf the net.
# Ya think yer homepage is where ya really live.
# Ya give derections to a website that include a person, animal, or old barn.
# Ya think MB stands for "More Beer."
# Ya wait fer the bluelight special at K-Mart ta buy yer puter.
# Ya see the word Download, and take the shells out of yer shotgun.
# Ya think the person that made yer keyboard was dumb cuz the letters aint in order.
# Ya think pushing the delete key will make yer ol' lady disappear.
# Ya think CD stands for Cow Dung.
# Ya think IBM stands for "Idn't Betsy Marvelous."
# Ya think GIF stands fer "Goodie It's Free."
# Ya think Mirabilis is a new brand of smokes.
# Ya see the "shift" key and try ta figure out how ta change gears.
# Ya put a quilt over yer screen when a make whoopee to yer ol' lady.
# Ya wonder why yer screen saver ain't wearing a cape like that there superhero on the cartoons. Ya think screen saver is a new flavor o' candy.
# Ya think Geocities is a place ta buy lil cars.
# Ya catch yerself tryin' to smell the lil flower on yer ICQ contact list.
# Ya think the "A drive" is where ya park yer pickup.
# Ya see the werd "Zip" and know why youz feelin' a draft.
# Yer puter has a bumper sticker on it.
# Part of yer puter is held together with duct tape.
# Ya sees the word "Refresh" and reach into the cooler fer another beer.
# Yer in a chat room and someone asks where yer from and you reply, "My momma."
# You sees the word "Website" and start looking for spiders.

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