funny jokes and humor online joke humorous jokes and gags
 
 
Holiday jokes (6)
Animal jokes (25)
April fool jokes (0)
Bar jokes (120)
Blonde jokes (89)
Bumper stickers (7)
Classic jokes (3)
Computer jokes (29)
Farmers (6)
Food jokes (2)
Gender (86)
Insults (20)
Kids jokes (34)
Knock knock jokes (1)
Lawyer jokes (31)
Medical jokes (21)
Miscellaneous jokes (9)
Myspace jokes (2)
One liners (7)
Parent jokes (1)
Political jokes (2)
Practical jokes (2)
Redneck (82)
Sports jokes (1)
Top ten jokes (11)
Work jokes (31)
Yo mama jokes (35)

Picture/Video Links!
President of China
Not Too Peeky
Perfect Bar
Money Illusion
Pole In Apartment
Camera In The Park
Category: Gender
Reader Rating: 3.83
Contributor: RoseGoddess

Add This Joke To: Del.ici.us


Fatal Things To Say To Your Pregnant Wife


17. "I finished the Oreo's."

16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby."

14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."

13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl."

12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

5. "Got milk?"

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

2. "Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

And the Number 1 Fatal Thing To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant..

1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger."

Rate this joke


Hilarious

Good

Average

Poor

Nasty



Email this joke to a friend
Your email address:
Your friends address:
Recieve joke in your email.